About nine months ago I started losing weight. (23/F/296 lbs.) I did great and lost about forty pounds in four months or so, active on r/loseit the whole time. Then life got stressful and I gained most of it back since then. I moved across the country on my own, which doesn't help in the stress department. When I've scrolled on my front page, I've let myself just skip over r/loseit posts. I didn't want to think about how badly I'd fallen off.
Something awful happened on Saturday night. (WARNING: I'm about to describe an incident in which I was verbally attacked about my weight, so if you don't wanna read it, stop here). I was out with friends at 2 am or so, and we got on a trolley to go to a different part of town. We were all drunk of course. One of my friends sat in some guy's seat after he got up. The guy asked for the seat back but my friend kind of laughed it off because there were so many other empty seats on the bus. Well, that really pissed this guy off, and for some reason he started yelling at me. He said, "What about this fat fuck? No one wants to see that! No one wants to look at you!" I started crying and he said, "Yeah, you should feel bad, fatass." Luckily, my friends defended me, to the point where my friends got into a literal fight with the guy. We all got kicked off the bus, my friend has a black eye. It was devastating. I like to think of myself as a strong person with thick skin, but every time I close my eyes I see that guy yelling at me. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. I know that guy is a loser and hates himself to lash out a stranger like that...but still. (I really needed to get that off my chest, so thank you for reading.)
I hate that it was a negative stimulus that is making me get back on the train, but c'est la vie, I guess. I'm back. And even though my life is crazy and controlling the way I eat can be really hard when that's the case, I'm gonna do my best to get back on. Wish me luck!
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