F / 25 / 5'9 ● SW: 250 ● CW: 245 ● GW: 175 ● Hello! New here. Stay at home mom who's alone with a kitchen to herself all day. I need encouragement.

I don't really know what I want to say in this intro post but I'm hoping I can keep it short. Exactly 7 months ago today, I had a baby boy who I now stay home with and I'm 15 pounds heavier than the day we brought him home from the hospital.

I was off and on fat growing up. My old record was 225 at 16 years old. I got a job at 17 and it came off like nothing, since I was finally off of my ass. I got to 175 and felt amazing (50 lbs gone!). It slowly crept up back to ~205 after I got a mostly desk job at age 20. I lost about 20 lbs after that by using MFP and CICO. Then I got pregnant in December 2015 at around 190 lbs. I shot up to 250 by the end of my pregnancy. I was 234 right after baby was born and I must have missed those extra pounds because I'm 245 now.

So I definitely know how to CICO. Except now, instead of being distracted at work and only having a few windows of time in a day to eat a fixed meal, I have ALL HOURS of the day and night to eat HOWEVER MUCH I want! What makes it even more difficult is that I live with my in laws and they'll sometimes buy Costco sized packages of junk food. Also, with a baby who needs to be held and entertained all the time (not looking for parenting advice) the easiest thing for me to do to entertain MYself is eat.

I feel disgusting. I feel lonely at home and food is my comfort and entertainment and my happy place. I've always had a skewed relationship with food. But I'm tired of making sure the room is pitch black when I'm naked with my husband. I'm tired of feeling these extra rolls and bulges where there were none before. I need to get out of the mindset of "I'll eat this Chinese food now because I'll lose the weight eventually, whether I eat it or not." If that makes sense.

I have a pair of size 20 jeans
(that I'm in now) and a size 18, 16, 14 and 12 in the closet that are crying for me. I want to be able to promise those pants that I'm coming back for them.

My husband needs to lose about as much weight as I do but I want to be able to do this whether or not he is on track. Because when one of us messes up, we drag the other one down. I need to be strong and successful in myself first.

Thank you for reading and if anybody has any words of encouragement or similar experiences, I would love to hear them. :-)

submitted by /u/NotALostCause
[link] [comments]

from loseit - Lose the Fat http://ift.tt/1ZmgTm0
via IFTTT

Read More about this post