Hey guys!
So this is my first time posting in this subreddit and I'd just like to share my personal story.
I've always been in the chubby side as a kid but no one could ever call me fat I was just a bit bigger than all my Asian friends.
Being Asian means that my bone structure is smaller than most people so people (and myself) didn't really notice that I was gaining weight. When I did notice it I always thought, " eh it's just 5 pounds whatever..."And I never noticed just how much weight I've gained, especially since by comparison to the average girl I was quite normal.
I was at an okay weight in highschool (hovered around 110-130 pounds at 5'4") but things got worse in university, I hit 140 before university even started, and since then it's been a slow uphill climb. Now I'm around 150-155 ish and every time I look in a mirror I get mad. I wonder how did I let myself get to this point. I feel hopeless, I'm also starting to notice the stretch marks around my hips, and I just get so so angry. I want to cry in anger for letting myself get to this point. I've tried over and over to lose weight, but I always fall off the wagon.
Since university started I've been living by myself, so it's even harder to eat healthy. I want to exercise, I love exercise but I feel like j never have time for it. Which just makes me more mad. Also my friends and I go out to eat a lot. I also loveeee the high calorie drinks such as bubble tea, cocktails and starbuck's caramel macchiato.
The more my weight increases the more hopeless I feel. I don't even care about the number.. I just want to look healthy. I was going through my old highschool pictures and there was a huge difference. My fingers are starting to get far too, and I've noticed that I'm starting to get a double chin.
I feel so out of control and I'd do anything to get my body back to a healthy weight. But I feel like as if nothing I do is working.
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