Monday, March 21, 2016

Having my family visit really made me realize how far I've come.

My mom and brother came to town for part of the weekend and immediately my mom told me how good I look, how happy she is for me, and how proud she was. I was so happy. My mom has always struggled with her weight, becoming obese in her 30's and having surgery to lose the weight. Since then she's been smaller than me since I was about 13. Still struggles, but it's never really something we talked about other than her joking about my "closet eating", suggesting I eat more vegetables and go for more walks.

I have a very, very hard time saying "no" to food. I don't like to keep sugary or fatty things in the house, because it will be all I can think about until I eat it and it's gone. When I went out to eat, I'd probably get a pasta, or a burger, sometimes a sugary cocktail.

She was really impressed with what I was eating, and honestly? I was too. I got a salad for lunch, which was unheard of six months ago. When we went to a bar and grill for dinner, I stuck with water and soup, and a couple light beers when we went for drinks after. Last we stopped at the grocery store where my brother and I each picked out a really fattening "parfait" at the bakery (mostly whipped cream and cake), and my mom got a whole pie just because she wanted one slice. She also got two boxes for Girl Scout cookies on the way out.

So now here we are. I made some really good decisions yesterday when I could have easily justified some really bad ones for the sake of a family weekend. I just tossed the second half of my parfait that I started yesterday, and there is still about 75% of a pie left in the refrigerator (I had a slice), and the Girl Scout cookies my mom forgot to take home with her. The last two days I've remained under my calories budget. And on a weekend, which I tend to struggle with.

One year ago I would this would have gone much differently, and I'm so glad I'm not stuck back there anymore.

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