Hello! My weight loss journey has been an rollercoaster. When I was 15/16 I went from 170lbs to 130lbs through restriction (usually trying to eat less than 500 but some periods of time I'd just try for under 800) and then the inevitable binging. I binged every few days and then began restricting again. My binges were usually big, but not dangerously big by any means. It took a long time to get to the 130 because, well, you know that habit doesn't work. But I couldn't seem to break it at the time, and I didn't even really want to because it still worked and I wasn't at the best place with my body. Also, I should preface although I think it goes without saying, I isn't ever actually have anorexia, I just took part in the practices of those with it. So eventually I gained it all back (surprise surprise) so that's where I'm at now. 166lbs, a much better place with myself and my self image, and wanting to lose weight and do it the healthy way. However, as I've started this whole ordeal over again, I'm noticing that I want to fall back into old habits. I (stupidly, yes) started this thing right before a small trip and I'm falling into the paranoia of not having a scale and not knowing the calories of what I'm eating and I keep telling myself to restrict. And then last night I had as much of a binge as I could've, eating all the snacks that I'd brought on the trip (it was only two small things, but the mindset of a binge was in). And just like what always happened, now I have crippling guilt over it. It's been like four fucking days since I decided I want to lose. How do I break these old habits? I want to do this the healthy way.
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