An overly restrictive diet has led me to an obsession with healthy food and binge eating disorder. I've currently put weight loss temporarily on the back burner as I repair my relationship with food, but I'm struggling to really nix my binge eating. I know that I binge eat for two reasons: 1) As a reflex from overly depriving myself of food and fixating on eating only healthily, and 2) Emotional eating.
I've read Intuitive Eating and some other books with similar messages, and am feeling much better about my relationship with healthy vs unhealthy food. However, I'm still eating to feel good instead eating to nourish my body and I don't know how to fix it. Last night I ate an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's under the justification "I want to and it makes me feel good, and I'm trying to be less restrictive", but now I know that I was just using food to treat some underlying insecurities and anxiety I was feeling. Now I'm feeling sick and gross and am trying really hard to prevent myself from just hating myself.
I've read, "Oh, go and talk to a friend instead!" or "Just go make some tea and read a book!" or "Watch an episode of your favorite show!, but I don't really buy into any of that because I know nothing makes me feel as good as food does. I feel like food is my drug, and it's like telling a heroin addict "Oh, just go read a book instead of shooting up!" Obviously it's not the same thing.
Ultimately I know this comes down to managing the void I'm filling with food, and I do treat this with shopping and sometimes weed as well, but it's just so easy to treat these negative emotions with food and I don't know what else to do. I'm in therapy and it's been beneficial on a much deeper level, but I'm still struggling with this.
Does anybody have any advice? I would love reading suggestions or maybe personal anecdotes for how you handle this.
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