Thursday, March 17, 2016

I'm losing weight because I'm vain.

I began my weight loss journey on January 18, 2016 because I'd hit my highest weight ever (~178 lbs) and I hated what I saw every time I looked in the mirror. I'm 5'3" and even though everyone told me I held my weight well, I didn't want to hold that weight at all. I'd been saying I wanted to lose weight for months and my SO had started telling me that if I wanted to lose weight I needed to get off my butt and do it. He was right.

So January 18, I went to the gym, took my "before" pictures and decided that it was time to make a change. And every time I look in the mirror or go to the gym or make myself a meal, I think about all the girls I've always been envious of. The ones who have the tiny waist lines. The ones who all the men look at and all agree is hot. The one who other women look at and all agree is beautiful and wish they were.

I want to be that woman. I want my SO to get jealous looks from other guys when we go out together. I want double takes from strangers. I want to feel awesome about getting pictures taken when I'm in my bikini and when I'm getting dressed up for date night I want to feel like I'm actually beautiful instead of feeling like my SO is lying to me when he tells me I'm gorgeous.

I try not to be vain, I was always taught it's not a good trait to have. But when it comes to my body and where I want to end up, I've decided that being vain is okay as long as it gives me motivation to become a healthier and more beautiful me.

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